Brain Damage HP Style
by Fantasy-gurls
Summary: Title says all


Brain Damage- Harry Potter Style.  
  
[Ron] Scalpel  
  
[Hermione] Here  
  
[Ron] Sponge  
  
[Hermione] Here  
  
[Ron] Wait.. he's convulsing, he's convulsing!  
  
[Hermione] Ah!  
  
[Ron] We're gonna have to shock him!  
  
[Hermione] Oh my! Oh my God!  
  
[Ron] We're gonna have to shock him!  
  
[Hermione] Oh my God!  
  
[Harry]  
  
These are the results of a thousand electric volts  
  
A neck with bolts, "Herm' we're losin him, check the pulse!"  
  
A kid who refused to respect adults  
  
Wore wires 'round his neck and a small ass nose  
  
A corny lookin white boy,blonde and always horny  
  
And I was always sick of that fucker pickin on me  
  
And one day just like that, I decided to hit him wit my wand 'n fight back  
  
And to turn him in one zap into a ugly ass street cat  
  
(Whosssssh) My first day in Hogwarts, Malfoy said,  
  
"It's you and I, three o'clock sharp this afternoon you die"  
  
I looked at my watch it was one twenty  
  
"I already gave you some galleons bitch, now get the fuck away from me?!?"  
  
He said, "Don't try to back off me, you'll just make it worse..."  
  
My palms were shaky, and I started to burn at first  
  
Something told me, "Try to fake a beating from him, it works"  
  
I screamed, "Owww! Malfoy hit me and I feel like my arm has burst!  
  
Teacher, teacher, quick I need to go to the nurse!"  
  
[Snape] "What's the matter?"  
  
[Harry] "I don't know, my knee, it hurts!"  
  
[Snape] "Knee?!? I thought you said it was your Arm?!?"  
  
[Harry] "Oh, I mean it is, but my knee hurts like an alarm!"  
  
[Snape] "Mr. Potter, the fun and games are over.  
  
And just for that stunt, you're gonna get some extra homework."  
  
[Harry] "But don't you wanna give me after school detention?"  
  
[Snape] "Nah, If Malfoy wants to beat your ass and I'ma let him."  
  
  
  
Way before I knew I was a wizard  
  
I was beat daily by my cousin Dudley who was pizard  
  
A fat ass who acted prickish, gettin me in trouble, to do the dishes  
  
so everyday he'd shove me into the door, under the stair floor.  
  
One day he came in there while I was readin  
  
And he beat me until I found myself not breathin  
  
He banged my head against the wall until he broke my glasses,  
  
I turned around and hit him til he fell on both of his asses  
  
He yelled for Uncle Vernon and got me in trouble  
  
The basterd whipped me with a belt 'til I saw double  
  
He looked at me and said, "Your gonna pay for the beat!"  
  
Then a huge man named Hagrid walken in with good news for me  
  
He told me I was a wizard and magical powers  
  
I turned and did a curse to Vernon which lasted hours,  
  
I left with Hagrid to Diagon Ally which was a dig  
  
Where he bought me a owl and named it Hedwig  
  
After I got my items, we headed to the train station  
  
I got confused like a fucked up dalmation,  
  
I found I had to get on my train by run in through a wall  
  
I tried to go through but then I hit my head and then fall  
  
I got so pissed I punched people in the face  
  
for they were laughing at me as I was a disgrace  
  
My knuckle got Fucked up as I just tried again  
  
This time I went through the wall but with bruses on my skin,  
  
Walked in the train and took a seat  
  
as a weird red-head said I looked beat.  
  
I told him "Yeah, so, like I give a shit?"  
  
He said," Well you should, you dun have to be a dick!  
  
I got mad, but didn't say a word  
  
I looked out the window and saw an Eagle-bird  
  
"Whoa!" I said "Who's pet is that?"  
  
I heard a boy say"Thats my Eagle owl you nossy brat!"  
  
I stuck my hand out and said,"I'm Harry, and who are you?,"  
  
He accepted my greeting and shook my hand, then he said,"Im Draco Malfoy, How do you do?"  
  
As he said what he said I noticed he had an evil smile and glare  
  
I said back," Im good, lets just put it there!"  
  
For no reason, we then became friends, I was sorted into Slytherin without any tends,  
  
We were friends for a while, but not for long, He started being mean and greedy and kept sticken out his tongue,  
  
I got fed up with it when it changed my life, we then became enimies for a life of deprive  
  
There then was no reason to stay in Slytherin, so I sorted again, Now I would never with evil, ever fit in,  
  
I was then put in Gryffindor, Now I was happy, Now I have friends who don't shove, push, or slap me,  
  
And then that was the end, I hated Malfoy now more than ever, and we never again were friends.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
OK, I know it wasn't much like Eminem's version. It's because it started out as The original version, but I wanted it different, so I kindof trailed off into my own song as I went along, you might also notice that the characters are Way OOC. So please don't start with your crap about that they were not what they are originally, even though Draco is the only one who didn't change a bit.....apart from his greeting to Harry. Also I made this song longer than the song......well bye....and please read and review.....BRING ON THE FLAMES YOU MEAN MOTHER-FUCKERS!!!!*ahem* well, anyways...........see-ya! 


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